I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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