It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she woke up with a sticky ear
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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