Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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