I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
