Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
