I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
