We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
