Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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