The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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