I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
