Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
