i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
