I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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