I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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