OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
