i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Randomize
