I think I died a long time ago.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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