She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Sober January is a disaster.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
