theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
