Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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