and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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