so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
