very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
