question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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