you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
