I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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