How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
