The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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