he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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