i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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