I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize