I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
