So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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