so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
soo... how was my night?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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