I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
