you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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