Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
