Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
