I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
