We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
