if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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