Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
