Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize