is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
