im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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