What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize