her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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