he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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