I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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