I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
