Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
