i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
