I hate your face
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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