Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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