nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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