Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
