Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
