So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Floor bacon is actually really good
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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