My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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