I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
