she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
