So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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