Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize